The Great Place

Well I know I said I want to try to stay positive in this blog but I just felt I needed to write about the tragic events that happened at Fort Hood on Thursday. It breaks my heart and I've been told that sometimes writing about things makes us feel better so here goes...

This news definitely hit close to home because Fort Hood was our home just about four months ago. Sure we may have not lived on post or always thought it was the best place to be, but it definitely holds a special place in our hearts...because it was our first duty station and it was where we learned and grew to be part of the army family. I often joked about the post, that it was in the middle of nowhere and there is not much to do there but hang out at Walmart. Or that upon entrance at the gate when security would greet you with a "Welcome to the Great Place", you would always think sarcastically to yourself, "Uh...not really, but Ok...if you say so." But as I realized before, when we left, I loved that place for it was where I made lifelong friends. 

When I first heard the news from a friend, I called Jeremy right away...our first thoughts were to call those we left behind at Fort Hood. Thank God, after awhile we found out everyone was OK and accounted for. It breaks my heart to know that not everyone got such good news. I heard on the news that some families got word as late as midnight, maybe even later, that their loved one had not been so fortunate. I know that the military does there best to follow procedure and notify, but I know how awful it feels to hear something in the news and to sit and wait and fear that two uniformed men  will show up at your door instead of getting the phone call from that person you love so much. My heart and my prayers go out to all those who have been affected by this tragedy.

I think the thing that gets me the most though is that these men and women were killed here at home, a place where they are supposed to be safe. I know that danger and the possibility of death comes with the job but its just not supposed to happen on post. I remember breathing a sigh a relief when Jeremy and the guys got back....almost like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. And yet to hear that a young woman just got back from being deployed, was getting ready to go on leave to see her family, and then gets killed before they could see her again..... It's horrible.

I have no idea why this man did it. There is a lot of speculation going around....maybe it was PTSD? maybe it was a relgious thing? maybe it was that he just had a mental disorder? I dont know and I have all kinds of thoughts on the issue but I can't really say too much on it since we just dont know. What I do know though is that I sure hope he gets what he deserves. 

Yesterday, two years ago, Jeremy left for Iraq. I think it was one of the hardest days ever for me...knowing that there was a greater possibility than normal that I may never see him again, given that his job requires him to be out there in the middle of everything. He told me not to cry and I didn't, not even as he was pulling away on that bus and I was trying to make out every last detail about the face that I would not see until possibly June. Thankfully, the Lord protected Him and he is back home now. Not everyone , including some of Jeremy's close battle buddies was so fortunate. I don't think I will ever understand why some have to get hurt and die and why others don't. As a human, I cant help but think about it sometimes and I mind goes in circles. However, I hold on to my Lord or rather He doesn't let me go and I though I dont get it, He gives me reassurance that He is in control and knows things that I cannot see or understand and I feel at peace.

In light of this tragedy on our first home, what I need to do is thank God for His love and grace. And thank God that Jeremy and our friends are here and will be getting to spend their first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Anniversary (well me and Jeremy at least), and New Year in the States,  in two years! I will do my best not to focus on all the bad things out there and just be so thankful for the fact that they are here now. Thank you for your prayers as Jeremy was gone and please please please continue with me to hold up these families in prayer who had to undergo such tragedy at a place where though I first did not realize, was truly the Great Place because of the brave women and men and families who made it so.